Unchartered…at least for me

Well today we had another successful ultrasound and were able to see little Ian wiggle around on the screen.  This week my wife heads into the 25th week of pregnancy.  The furthest along we have gone since we lost our son Lukas at 24 weeks a little over a year ago.

I have not missed an appointment yet and our doctor has taken a look on ultrasound each time.  I don’t take these glimpses for granted anymore.  There is still a place in my head that tells me it could be the last time I get to see him move.  I want desperately to eliminate that place in my head. I want to just push past it and look forward to the time when I get to hold him, hear him laugh (and even cry).  We are still very much taking things a day at a time but this week marks a new week, and a new milestone that we haven’t gotten too before.  I hope that this is just the first of many more to come, more than I can even imagine.


It is amazing to me how much of a personality you can get from ultrasounds and really paying attention to the movement of your child.  A few nights ago my wife used a doppler that she brought home to listen to Ian’s heartbeat.  Normally it is easy to find and this time was proving tricky.  Then Ian proceeded to rub against the wand.  And then he kicked it, or punched it, or head-butted it.  Something hit it…directly.  He continued to move around so much that we could only get glimpses of this heartbeat.  Seemed like he was playing with us already.  Again today on the ultrasound it seemed like he simply did not want to make it easy for us to get a good look at him…moving around all over the place.  I will never forget one of the ultrasounds with Lukas…he was just sitting there…kicked back with his little feet crossed.  Moving around a little bit but seemed very relaxed and just hanging out.

I can’t wait to see if Ian’s personality that he displays on screen comes through to real life.

Occupy…I just don’t get it

So I am fully aware that there is a need for some education on my part when it comes to the “Occupy” movement.  I also see the point in a good protest on occasion but these are missing it for me.  Sure, I’ll give credit to the folks out in Oakland that slowed down one of the nation’s top sea ports with their Occupy protest.  And I bet the folks that are occupying Wall Street are opening some eyes as well.

But Occupy Tulsa?  Really?  What are you accomplishing by getting arrested for sleeping on the grass after the city curfew?  The only thing you are doing is wasting tax dollars and police time by forcing them to show up and haul you away.  You claim that you are the 99% but do you think the 1% cares?  You say the 1% has the power…I am not seeing how your demonstration is impacting their world.  Please educate me in the comments so that I can try to see your perspective on this one.

And another thing…the complaint is the “unequal” distribution of wealth and power.  I have a hard time with this one.  My whole life I was told to work hard, be smart and do everything I can to continue to get smarter and work harder so that I can be comfortable in life and not have to struggle.  So I ask you this…can you not apply the “rich get richer” moniker to other areas in life?  I think that if you really sit down and “occupy” some thought you will see that the “smart get smarter” and the “strong get stronger.”  I am tired of the expected hand out.  Why not go “occupy” a classroom?  “Occupy” whatever it takes to remedy your situation.  You have the power to manage your own life…and really that is all the power you need.

I had a great professor compare our mood for each day with the weather.  He pointed out that we often feel down and depressed when it is cloudy and rainy while we are more happy when the sun is shinning.  He followed this illustration with a statement that left a mark on me.  “Proactive people make their own weather.”  So be proactive and do whatever it takes to make your day sunny.

Don’t look for the heads-up penny…kick the crap out of the tails-up one until it lands heads-up.  Make your own luck.

101st Post

So I had been planning on doing some sort of big “100th post” with content about what the previous 99 posts had shared with whomever is out there reading these.  And then I felt my baby kick and I was thrown off a bit.  That was a very exciting moment for me and I wanted to share.  So here we go…on my 101st post!

I started this blog with a post about a basketball league that I was playing in at the time (April 2008).  My main goal in playing in this league was to relive the high school days and dunk a basketball once again before I turned 30…it was accomplished!  Kind of a strange post given the direction my posts have taken over the past year.  After this main post I settled into a theme…vacation!  I have made more post about traveling and spending time with my wife than any other post…I sure hope you enjoyed vacationing with me through the blog!

There were some posts in there about sports, some politics, and the occasional rant about things going on in my world.  Then came the excitement of my wife being pregnant with our first child, and the tragedy that followed.  I want to thank all of you for your support and the loving comments during this time.  I apologize for the sad nature of my posts…that is where I was.  And now we are once again excited for all the milestones we reach with our second child.  I will continue to post about this journey and of course there will be some sports, politics, random thoughts and maybe even some travel related post mixed in.

It took me three years and seven months to get my first 100 posts on the blog…I am hoping to get to 200 in a much shorter time.  Thanks again to everyone that reads my blog.