My first remembrance of overthinking was when I was 15. My grandfather had just taken his life, and my teenage brain could not comprehend the situation. So it started to play out all the how’s and why’s it could dream up. I became obsessed with the scenarios and searching for answers no one could provide. I mean obsessed to the point of inaction. I am certain there were other moments in my life, most likely tied to other tragic or traumatizing events before I turned 15, but when I stopped and pinpointed where it became something I struggled with managing it was this night. This is also the moment where I grew to understand there will be questions we ask ourselves which we will never have the answers to. I learned we can’t let those unanswerable questions consume us.

Of course the first appearance I can recall was a big one, but when I think about how it’s played out over time, I can also see instances where things as small as what shoes I’m going to wear to some event have consumed my thoughts. It is a natural occurrence for me to overthink everything. The big, the small, the relevant, and the meaningless. So many thoughts are living rent free in my skull, they can drive anxiety, restlessness, and even bouts of depression when I can’t find a successful outcome. I even use it as a negative in conversation these days when I try to “stop overthinking it”, or even direct my colleagues at work to do the same. It’s funny that I say that when in reality, there is a zero percent chance I myself do that. I can’t. It doesn’t turn off. Ever.

When I set out to write a book, my intention was to focus on my career and the lessons I’ve learned along the way. I’m a successful strategist at a world-renowned digital agency working with some of the most successful organizations on the planet. Surely I have some tips and tricks to offer the world, right? I had planned to use a multitude of books, and course notes to help folks understand how to be good partners, and how to develop strategies for engaging audiences in innovative ways. I’ve been working with clients in a creative and strategic capacity for 20+ years, so my plan was to lean into that, and spread the knowledge. While this was my target, I was about 100 pages in before guess what happened? I over-thought it, and started over. I came to realize the lessons I had planned to share could be applied to business, to partnerships, and to communications, but at their core they were really doing something else. They were demonstrating how to turn something with a negative stigma, overthinking, into something more productive. They were providing a guide for ways to turn something which had, at times, been debilitating, into something which had led to amazing outcomes in life and at work. With this, I decided to shift my focus to better understanding what I am now calling my exhaustive mind by diving deeper into how thinking impacts who we are as humans, the things we do as humans, and some ways to better structure our thoughts toward productive outcomes. Yes there will still be a lot of career-focused examples, and yes there are still a lot of references, but my hope is that you can come away with ways to not only leverage your exhaustive mind at work, but also in your everyday life.

So as I started this endeavor to uncover how my overthinking became a strength, and how I feel it has somehow assisted me in building a successful career, I started to really look for the time when I could first remember being consumed by my thoughts. With such a typical upbringing, what was it that triggered my obsession with thinking? There are tragedies, and celebrations which have shaped this obsession, but to avoid a full on autobiography, I’m going to skip most of those. I have also had many influences in my life from family, to teachers and coaches, to my wife and son. I’ll sprinkle in some of their impact throughout the book, but I really want the exploration of my life and experiences to trigger your reflection on how your thoughts may or may not be effectively driving your life towards positive outcomes. I’m not a psychologist, or a licensed therapist, I’m just a mid-40s dude sharing his experiences with you in a way I hope offers some tools you see as valuable. I hope you enjoy my words, and I hope you take the time to explore the words of the many other books and references I will share with you.