So it has been about a month and a half since my wife and I lost our son Lukas. We are trying to get things back to normal but honestly, we haven’t figured out what that really is any more. Like everyone that goes through a tragic event I am sure there is a time period where everything that you once did on a daily basis just seems odd. I have been over thinking just about everything that I do, from my job to my hobbies and even the decisions I make. It is amazing to me how my paradigm has shifted and I am having a hard time figuring out exactly what I am supposed to do now. When something happens with your family the only thing you really want to do is think about your family, but the world doesn’t stop for you. You have to keep things moving along even though they might not seem as important as they did even a few weeks ago.
The emotions of the situation are still there, but coping with them is getting easier. My mind-set is still up in the air as far as where we go from here but I realize that we don’t have to make any decisions now. The only thing that seems certain these days is how much my wife and I love each other and how well we seem to work together to help each other get through the tough times. That seems to be the only part of what was our “normal” that remains.
How do you find normal when you have no idea what it looks like anymore? Do you just keep coasting along trying to make those things that used to be normal fit back into your now changed world? Do you try new things and see if you stumble on to a new normal? Honestly I don’t think anyone has an answer for this…I think each person has to figure it out for themselves and hope things somehow work their way out.