Well today we had another successful ultrasound and were able to see little Ian wiggle around on the screen.  This week my wife heads into the 25th week of pregnancy.  The furthest along we have gone since we lost our son Lukas at 24 weeks a little over a year ago.

I have not missed an appointment yet and our doctor has taken a look on ultrasound each time.  I don’t take these glimpses for granted anymore.  There is still a place in my head that tells me it could be the last time I get to see him move.  I want desperately to eliminate that place in my head. I want to just push past it and look forward to the time when I get to hold him, hear him laugh (and even cry).  We are still very much taking things a day at a time but this week marks a new week, and a new milestone that we haven’t gotten too before.  I hope that this is just the first of many more to come, more than I can even imagine.

It is amazing to me how much of a personality you can get from ultrasounds and really paying attention to the movement of your child.  A few nights ago my wife used a doppler that she brought home to listen to Ian’s heartbeat.  Normally it is easy to find and this time was proving tricky.  Then Ian proceeded to rub against the wand.  And then he kicked it, or punched it, or head-butted it.  Something hit it…directly.  He continued to move around so much that we could only get glimpses of this heartbeat.  Seemed like he was playing with us already.  Again today on the ultrasound it seemed like he simply did not want to make it easy for us to get a good look at him…moving around all over the place.  I will never forget one of the ultrasounds with Lukas…he was just sitting there…kicked back with his little feet crossed.  Moving around a little bit but seemed very relaxed and just hanging out.

I can’t wait to see if Ian’s personality that he displays on screen comes through to real life.