Last week my second son, Ian turned two! He is developing a wonderful personality and he talks up a storm. Probably my fault there. We like to tell stories in the Moore family. I absolutely LOVE watching this little man grow up each day. It truly does go fast.
Yesterday I traveled to meet with a client and the path takes me through childhood hometown of Chandler. I always head out a little early so I can take time to visit my first son, Lukas at the cemetery. If you have read much of this blog you are aware of what happened to Lukas. These stops for me are always emotional but before yesterday they were filled with gratitude to the sacrifice that Lukas made to give us the knowledge to be able to have Ian. Yesterday for some reason I was hit with some reality.
The reality was that Lukas didn’t get the chance to turn two. He never got to watch cartoons, fall in love with a movie or read books before bed. I won’t ever get the chance to hear Lukas laugh at me being goofy or to hold him after hFor some reason yesterday was different. I have no idea why my mind went this direction instead of the usual thanks for giving us the chance for your little brother to be here.
I think the main reason my mind went this direction is because I know it will be soon that Ian starts to realize that his big brother didn’t get to do the things he does. It won’t be long before he starts to understand that while he never got the chance to play with Lukas, Lukas was looking out for him before he was even here. I can’t wait for Ian to learn about Lukas, but I also know that there will be a new set of emotions for my little boy and I will have to help him deal with them the same way I have had to deal with them.
2 responses to “I miss you Lukas.”
Trust me, if my Mom has her way, she will be rocking Lukas while reading Goodnight Moon.